World of Pretend

Of all the music artists I’ve listened to, none even compare in the art of subliminal messages than Linkin Park. Not only that, but the amount of wisdom and philosophy tucked under the hood of their songs is awe-inspiring- at least for me. I believe that the Bible is intended not as a manual to living life, but to understanding why we live life the way we do. To understand the Bible, you must realize that it does not matter how things turn out ultimately (the ends), or even what our intentions were (the means)- Both of these are irrelevant. What truly matters is that we understand why we live life the way we do- the Bible helps us understand this, but what really makes it unique- and what makes Linkin Park unique, is that the more that you read it, and relate it to your own perception, the more you can learn from it. In particular, Linkin Park’s song “Forgotten” has the most meaning of any of their songs (to me), and the translation found in “Reanimation” actually leaves even more meaning behind. So this is the 3rd post I’ve had that’s a homage to “Forgotten”, and the title is actually one of the lines in that song:

(“Then with the eyes shut / looking through the rust and rot and dust / a small spot of light floods the floor | And pours over the rusted world of pretend | The eyes ease open and its dark again”)

When people are in love, be it with God, some religion, google, or another human, many times- probably most times it starts with blind passion. The problem with blind passion though, is that if our perception of our object of desire changes even in the slightest, be it by change of information (i.e. “you were lying when you said you were rich?!?”) change of priority (i.e. “I don’t get the sex I ‘need’ from him/her”) or just learning new information (i.e. “I’m having a baby”)

When I was a Christian, and when I was in love, I really knew I was a Christian and in love. There was no doubt in my mind- I was on fire for Jesus and loved Elyse. But, in retrospect it was blind passion for both her and God. So the question is, “Was I really in love and a Christian”?

The answer is both true and false. In the present I was not, but in the past I was. In other words, the ability to look back gives us the ability to see things that no longer exist as if they did, because they exist in memory (which is also explained in “Forgotten”). We have all sorts of different realities, but the ones with which this post is especially concerned, is the realities of past, present, and future. That is, are the realities of past and future just as “real” as that which is right in front of us- the present?

I would say yes, and here’s why: Because in the past I was in love, and was a Christian, I was able to learn and grow from it- after all, how would I know that it was “blind passion” now, unless I had matured? Even if I was blind, I still lived as if it was true, because I believed it to be. As long as we believe, it is true- it only is false if we believe it as such. As I explained in Id versus Ego, faith is a product of Id, naturally because Id’s essence is blind desire/passion. No logic can convince a person driven by Id of anything, since Id is illogical. This knowledge has helped me understand human psychology and motivation a great deal- before I was constantly irritated by other’s actions, because they were illogical. Now I know why. Id is still truth, just a different kind of truth. So logically, I wasn’t a Christian and I wasn’t in love, but I was illogically- no doubt about that.

Christians often cite the fact that people underwent so much persecution in the name of Jesus, and of Christianity. So much work was done, so much was sacrificed, so many lives given. So it must be true, right? Until now I have either suspended judgement, or discounted their actions as foolish. But while Christianity may be illogical in essence, it wasn’t supposed to be any more than God is. So that claim, in its own right, is justified. However, it should be noted that it was, and is, true to Christians. It was true to me, but not anymore. The Bible however, does have some truth to me though.

I’ll probably add to this later, but that’s good enough for now…

In the End

In Linkin Park’s song of the same name (yes this is another homage to them), they express their feelings regarding the aftermath of a failed LTR, right? Well, that might be the superficial message, but as I explained in Dear Diary, there is another underlying message- which in this case is a metaphor of the journey of life, or- more importantly, not taking anything for granted, as especially not the amount of potential we each have. Since I saw the underlying messages of Hybrid Theory prior to listening to Reanimation, I was stoked when I realized that many of the songs in Reanimation, in addition to the obligatory remixing, explained the underlying messages. I have a feeling it’s more fan service to those who already knew, because those who didn’t might not even see the connection. Well, maybe the “ignorant aren’t as stupid as I think :P- so who knows.

The message in “In the End”, is, in addition to “don’t take life for granted”- No matter what the outcome is, the journey itself is more important. What we’ve learned in life proves to be invaluable, and thus of far more worth than material gain, “perfection”, or anything else. This also means that mistakes are what makes life worth living. The Ends doesn’t justify the Means, and the Means doesn’t justify the Ends, because both are irrelevant. The Journey itself is all that really matters in the long run. That’s the message, in fewer words, they [Linkin Park] were trying to convey.

That’s also a lifestyle which has defined my whole life, although I didn’t *know* it till recently. I think in many ways, I was living life the *right* way long before I knew what was right, as if I was being guided by God, spirits- use your imagination…(!) I’ve learned (to word things a bit differently) that what’s really important is not *what* we decide, the decisions we make, or the outcome of these decisions- be it good or bad. These things are trivial in comparison to the importance of knowing why we ourselves made those decisions. That is, motivation is what is most important.

As I said in Pride, “we exist to find meaning”, and that meaning is in our motivation- because without motivation, which is in turn ultimately driven by pride, “we are nothing”. That is, we cannot learn from our mistakes unless we know why we made them, and we cannot help others with their problems unless both of us know why the problems exist. I have written a few posts that were inspired by the troubles of a certain co-worker, but I did not until recently consider that I could not help them until I knew the source of their problems. Well, I was looking for the source, but in all the wrong areas. I was thinking circumstantial, when I should have been looking life. Once I considered that they had perhaps not learned from their mistakes because they did not know what the mistakes were- it became clear: they were immature. I will detail this in a future post, probably named “Immature”, but don’t expect it too much :P

I have spent so much time these past couple years trying to get to know myself- an unrelenting obsession. Although I was doing it for myself, I had no idea how much that the problems in the world, and lack of success of people can be directly attributed to people not knowing themselves. most people assume they do, and/or allow other people to take that responsibility, when those very people don’t know themselves either. In other words, it’s the Blind leading the Blind– a one-way ticket to hell-on-earth, to hyperbolize.

I’ve always considered myself the “unconventional” type, but really, what is convention? If convention is merely a signature characteristic, then I just have more unique conventions than most. One of these conventions is doing or saying things that I know are radical, unusual, controversial or just-plain-stupid. The reason why is not because I want to look like an asshole, dunce, or know-it-all, but so that I can find out why things are the way they are- what the motivation behind traditions, “common-sense”, “do-not’s”, etc. is. I want to know, even if it means getting hurt (actually, I’m jaded to pain by now). Just the other day, I pedaled my bike to full-speed, then slammed on both breaks simultaneously, in from of a parked vehicle. I knew it was dangerous, but I wanted to find out exactly why. I knew I would fall, but that wasn’t important. It was a very exhilarating experience- the bike did a full 180* flip- and luckily I didn’t get a scratch. The bike was fine too, although the light was completely busted.

Every once in a while I come across an opportunity which a voice inside tells me is fate. When that happens- it’s quite magical, because it’s almost like I have power over the future. The first instinct was to go along with fate, but after thinking about it a while, I realized that fate does not exist to decide life for us, over even to give us the decision. Fate exists so that we do not take life for granted. Fate exists, so that we can recognize why we made the choice- that’s the gift God has given us. The only thing we can’t control is destiny- for all of us it’s the same- pretty simple: we die.

So not every time I see fate reveal itself, I thank God (though I don’t know who or what “God”, or even if he “is”) for the opportunity given me, to not just make the choice, but understand why I made it.

Forgotten

In Linkin Park’s song “forgotten” (which most people don’t even know exists- that’s the beauty of Linkin Park- passion for the ignorant and insight for the wise)- actually I didn’t understand until now- these words in particular: “Then with the eyes tightly shut looking thought the rust and rotten dust | A spot of light floods the floor | And pours over the rusted world of pretend| The eyes ease open and its dark again”

Although there are other meanings it the song (equally unknown by the wise, and equally true), the one that is the focus of this post: Happiness can only be truly experienced when the person experiencing it is not aware that it is happiness (or in recalling memories of such)- the moment we realize what it is, it disappears. These theme is also hinted at in the Movie Gladiator: “There was a dream that was Rome. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish, it was so fragile.”

From the words above, from philosophy class, and (ultimately and primarily) from my own insight, I have delved into a matter of great concern- a matter  that existentialism was (indirectly) founded to address.

there is a Bible verse, attributed to Jesus- Matthew 6:3 “But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” Although there is the more obvious maxim “don’t do good for praise, or else you’ll miss out on the long-term benefits” (Basically Karma, Jesus-style); but there is (IMO) another meaning, and is concerned with happiness and the soul, which will be addressed below:

In Illogical, I noted many questions that circled around the relationship of the “self” to the “consciousness”, and also inferred a connection to the “soul” or “psyche”. Plato believed that the soul was “caged” in the body, and “locked aware from true knowledge, and having to accept and adapt to deceptions of the truth, dim reflections of the brilliance it rightfully deserves. He illustrates these thoughts in his legendary “Myth of the Cave” allegory. Although I do not agree with Plato’s dualism (I am in particular at odds with the “Forms“), I think that these particular thoughts can be reasonably adapted to illustrate the relationship between the consciousness, subconscious, the psyche (soul), and happiness.

[quote from the Matrix] “being the [happy] is just like being in love. No one needs to tell you you are in love, you just know it, through and through” (replaced “one” with “happy”)

But here’s the rub: We can believe that we’re happy (“know”), we can be told (or tell others) we’re happy, we can assume we’re happy…..But if we actually consider whether we are, we lose that happiness. Try it sometime, and you’ll see what I mean. Any time you try to measure your happiness, you will end up with a bittersweet mix of hope and anxiety. Now why is that? Anytime we *actually* are aware of our happiness, we lose it. Love (and being *the one*) doesn’t have that advantage, so I guess you could say that’s how they *aren’t* alike :P

I think that it must be because “part of us” isn’t happy- the “psyche”, or as Sigmund Freud called it, the “Ego”. This raises an important point, as the “Ego” is the “Consciousness”. Does that mean we aren’t conscious any time we’re happy? Well that wouldn’t work- but this is where Platos “Myth of the Cave” allegory comes in. The Ego, or soul, is deceived in order to adapt to this very circumstance, so that (And this is the fun part that makes me really “happy”) “the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing”. Wow, I knew it would all come together, but I didn’t think it would sound that cool! lol :P –you have to admit, even if you don’t agree it comes together really nicely, doesn’t it? And I swear I did not do it that well on purpose- this post is about 80% improvisation (pending knowledge/deductive reasoning/etc, but I’ve “got all those down”. Okay, back to the point:

But this raises another point, and this is where existentialism comes in: If becoming self-conscious results in the corruption of happiness, does that mean our consciousness is unhappy. Platonic dualists would say yes. But what then, is the actual relationship of our subconscious (Id) to our conscious (Ego), and where do “we” (that which we perceive ourself to be overall) come in? Sigmund Freud, if I am understanding him correctly, would say that we identify with society- through the interactions between the Ego and the SuperEgo (our SuperConsciousness, where “super” means “beyond”, and “society’s consciousness is “consciousness beyond us”) ; — we identify with “ourself” (well more accurately, our “inner-self”, or “heart of hearts”) But all this is really a bit off-topic :P

Well, although it will take a while to grasp these complexities- at least in theory, the “self” that we are most familiar with, is likely a forced marriage between the Ego and Id. Now the Id is where Happiness actually comes from. That is also particularly interesting to me, because the soul obviously would not trap itself in the body for no reason. As I theorized (independently of philosophy, mind you) in my Reincarnation post (the second one), the soul felt the need to evolve, and found that it could not evolve efficiently without a body. So essentially (in my theory) souls sacrifice their freedom to ensure a better future.

This is where the Id comes in: The Id is pure desire- as such a baby is considered “pure Id”. “I don’t know what I want, or how to get what I want– all I know is that I want it, and I want it now.” But more importantly, Id, as pure desire, is pure instict- the physical intuition. Physical desire, although useless by itself- souls knew it was the best bet for evolution. This resulted in the same irony which, in my experience, permeates the universe: The soul (Ego) controls the Id, but in return sacrifices its freedom, and is held hostage by it. Both Id and Ego are slave and master- quite the paradoxal combination.

But I still feel a sort of sympathy for the soul, because I have (by choice) gained a high level of self-awareness, and have felt much of its pain as a result. I really wonder how things will turn out In The End.